How much .... is too much.

I'll never really know I guess. How much is demasiado. All I know is that the girl in me says I want to go with my gut instincts and say what I want, when I want regardless of frequency or tone. And yet, the woman inside me says not to--that I'll become *that* girl. Where is the line between sweet and suffocating? The difference between thoughtful and obsessive? *sigh* And if I deny myself the chance to initiate in an effort to avoid becoming the one who always initiates then isn't that playing mind games? Even if only with myself? So what am I to do....Argh. Que sera, sera I suppose.

4 - week goals

So today I set 2 goals with my WW leader. The timeline is starting 1/18 and ending 2/15. They are:

1) Run the entire 4m Love 2 Run couples race, mit oder ohne eine freund. (party of 1 please?)

2) Lose an average of .6 lbs a week for a total of 2.4 lbs.

IF I reach both goals I'm rewarding myself with an hour massage!!!
If I reach only 1 goal I get to buy new earrings. Not bad. On a more personal note my current goal is to keep my expectations low so that in the event things don't work out the disappointment is minimal. How negative that might sound but honestly I just can't take getting excited and getting disappointments so really it's just realistic, self-preservation. Okay, here we go, bon chance, viel gluck and buena suerte!!!

2nd blog like a hobbit's 2nd breakfast

Top reasons today was better than usual:

1)bedtime recitations in German (technically happened *today*)
2)discovered new favorite song to replace previous favorite tainted by jerk who broke my heart.
3)breakfast with my Tier 1.
4)discarded half my clothes b/c they're too big.
5)singalong with Tier 1.

NYE Resolutions!!!

After much debate over whether I should even make any I've decided on 5 attainable resolutions. In no particular order:

1)GRADUATE: because Kezia Schrag sounds cool but DR. Kezia Schrag sounds even better.

2)Relearn the splits--b/c I *used* to be able to to them and they're bound to come in useful (ha!)

3) Reach my goal weight: 21 lbs to go but lost 35 in a semester so a 21 in a year should be easy peasy.

4)Learn a lullaby. In Spanish. Because it's been requested.

5) Every day thank God for at least 1 thing because heavens knows there's 100+ a day for which I have to be thankful.

That's it! 2012 is going to have its ups and downs for sure (like every year) but if the first few weeks are any indication the rest of the year should be pretty freaking awesome....

Meine mutter ist die besten.

As of today I am 32 years old, at my driver's license weight, a size medium at the Gap (which is b/c they run super large now), growing my hair out a bit, in love with ice water, the Tier 1 of one of the best people I'll ever know, finishing up my doctorate, smitten, healthier than ever, and so much more. But above all of those trivial things I am officially 'friends' with my mother. And why should I not be? The advice she gave me tonight was not only exactly what I needed to hear but delivered with an intensity that made realize I had to take it [the advice]. If only I could have realized sooner that only my mom knows how I need to hear things....after all, she's the woman who raised me and to whom I owe my overwhelming satisfaction with life. So here's to you Mom, may 2012 be the start of getting to know you, getting to know all about you....getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.

And that's the truth.

I have only one Tier 1. Without whom, no one else matters.

Wayull.

I love people who no matter how short or long their stay in your life turns out to be, you'll always remember them.