Day 3

Well, I went to my W.W. meeting today and was up 2 lbs. Now, that's obviously noooo good and now I know the damage of vodka gimlets, jimmy john's, burgers and candy in such excess as I consumed them. Having said that, I am more motivated now to lose the total 2.8 I gained in the last 3 weeks than if I had weighed in at or below last week's weight so there's the silver lining. I had a strong start to my eating today, check it out:

breakfast:
1/2 frtta (3 pts)
orowheat thin (1)
w.w. cream cheese (1)
sugar-free, + fiber jam (0)
coffee with milk (1)

And I've already downed 45 ounces of water....ooh, plus I worked out for 55 minutes ans surely managed to sweat out all the vodka from last night. So it's doubly good for me! Now, here's to hoping the rest of the day goes well....brb.

Okay, part 2 of the Day 3:

Lunch:
smoothie (4pts) -- this is a guesstimate, I think it was more like 3...but better overestimate than under. and I LOVE smoothies!!!!

Dinner:
1/2 cup rice (wild/white/brown mix) (4)
1/3 lean ground beef (3)
1/4 black beans (1)
1 slice w.w. american cheese (1)

Snack:
raspberry mint tea (0!)

So not bad overall. But I'm quite hungry and it's only 9:15 and I need to write so let's hope this tea carries me over. As for my mental health I've done very little today but some good things happened. Like I found a paper worth recycling, my boss approved my San Diego trip and my auntie's helping me out. Stay tuned for tomorrow!

p.s. I used 19 of my 23 points but now I'm getting McDonald' ice cream (3) so....yeah, well done! Which is a good treat for a job well done on my Schubert. Heheh.

Day 2

Well, today is off to a better start than yesterday. I hope to hit the gym and I have NO excuse not to except that I don't reeeeeally want to go. I've decided to get rid of a LOT of my clothes. Luckily, many of them just don't fit well anymore and I think that by keeping them around I'm giving myself the option of gaining weight. That's NOT good. So I'm going to work on that in a few....write more later. I just know you're dying to hear more!

Breakfast:
fritta (egg scramblers, tomatoes, potato, mushrooms, onions, lunch meat)
coffee with skim milk

(not bad kezia, not bad at all)

Okay, so here's the follow up of yesterday:

Lunch:
rice, beans, ground beef and cheese
1/2 yogurt
vodka and crystal light

vodka gimlet (2) and vodka cranberry (double)
Can you sense a theme here? So all that vodka caught up with me and after seeing Finn Riggins (which was awesome!) I downed a Jimmy John's Slim 5 (which is anything but slim b/c it packs salami, provolone and some other fatty meat) and salt & vinegar chips (which frankly should be illegal in bags that market themselves as 1 serving but are actually 2!!!!!!!!!!!!). Don't worry, I'm not really thinking it should be illegal but the truth is that even thin or fit people (which are not necessarily the same!) don't need that kind of food. The Midwest should do what they do in Seattle which is blatanly post the calories/fat/nutrition info. at the menu. Because no matter what your metabolism does for your body your inner organs do not need saturated fat, massive quantities of sodium, processed food, etc. Let's get healthy people! Especially since I just found out K.C., Mo is the 6th fattest city in the country!!!!

Day 1

Okay so I've decided to do a wellness blog....my goal is to write even the tiniest bit everyday as recap of the daily improvement of my physical and mental well-being. Mostly I want to journal my eating habits because after losing 30lbs I'm in a bit a rut or easily distracted by pizza, beer and other things. So here it goes!

Today I ate horribly from the very start.
Breakfast: coffee with milk and pb&j tortilla wrap (not bad)

Church time snack: 5 cookies....shiiit son. And not teeny tiny ones but saucer-sized ones made from scratch with loads of butter, sugar and coconut. Heavens.

Lunch: I'm not sure I actually had this?

Snack: rice with black beans and low-fat cheddar cheese (probably passes as lunch?)
something else not so healthy but I can't remember what.

Dinner: 2-egg scramble with turkey, tomatoes, low-fat cheese, mushrooms and onions
double-fiber whole wheat english muffin with REAL butter
(oops, i'll just poo it out though with all that fiber)

So no fresh fruits or really any fresh veggies, lean protein was ok, too much fat and not enough filling foods. Damn. I blame church and those cookies. God provided them. On a happier note, I took the day for myself to regroup. I cleaned thoroughly (minus my roommate's tower of crusty, week-old dishes), did laundry and spent a good hour or so at Hastings reading gossip magazines. That is perhaps my favorite indulgent waste of time! I love going alone and sitting anonymously gorging on the tabloids and all the useful information they have to offer. So tomorrow's got to start stronger...I see it ending weakish because we're supposed to go downtown and drink but like most things I think will happen it probably won't. And that might save me some calories! Okay, eat well, be well, and make wise choices. Ta-ta!

Who

Hmph!!!

It's official. If there is a God...he hates me. The longest winter ever...followed by a tease of 60 degree days and then snow. And the Jayhawks lost to a No. 11 team. Fine, hate me if you will!!!

Thaddeus.

Oh little Thaddeus. He's just great. He's smart, he's cute, we have a lot of fun together, he likes me....the problem is he's 3 and he's not mine to keep. And after spending the afternoon together I got to wondering if maybe motherhood might be far more satisfying than music. Because the truth is I don't see the two going hand in hand. I'm following this blog about a social studies teacher who's agreed to eat school lunch everyday to experience first hand the rapid decline in public school lunches. Anyhoo...she said it's impossible to create an elaborate meal when you're 30, you work and you have a family so she has to plan every meal on the weekend and shop according to this unchangeable list. EVERY damn meal! I could never do that nor would I want to but...at the same time I don't want to practice and I don't want to do anything piano/music related. So what's a girl to do? I've wanted this doctorate forever and I will get it, soon actually. Well, soonish. But what IF I had gotten married in my 20s and cashed in my degrees for a downpayment on a house. And I stayed home taking care of the home and my kids...I wonder. It's not to say you can't have a career and a family nor am I saying that's not my hope. But...the truth is you can't be the best piano teacher and the best mom. I've already seen people try. Music is so unlike most careers. I remember Mr. Costa telling me "there are no holidays, there are no weekends. We are not like the mailmen. We have no days off." And it's true! Even over this break I saw my friends at Murphy late into the evening, like 11 or 12 p.m. and it's break!!! And I should clarify that by career I do not mean maintaining a single-digit sized 'studio' out of my home. I mean teaching in a university or a starting and running a music prep school for high schoolers, adjucating, performing, collaborating, etc. I guess all this seems so far in the future and so unlikely (marriage/kids) that I can sleep worry free for now. But somewhere in the back of my head is a mini Tad nagging at me, beckoning me to join a game of baseball, even without the bat and ball. Or to go fishing indoors with a jump rope as a lure. Or to make invisible cookies (truly calorie free) and to play golf with a tennis ball. If only I were a man and I could marry some unsuspecting girl to be all that I need and maintain my career. Oh and not have feelings. Ha ha. Oh well. For now I'll postpone practicing and enjoy Tad. Tomorrow we're going to the pet store! Who knows what wonders we'll find there.

!!!

Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!!!