The day I fell in love.

I once read that it is impossible to fall in love with inanimate objects, pets or anything void of the human soul. Perhaps love is exclusive to humanity but I would beg to differ that my new found feelings toward the piano are anything short of pure adoration. I've spent the two-thirds of my life playing the piano and only 2 weeks madly in love with it. One would think that with multiple degrees in music that I would be a dedicated, loyal fan but until recently I wasn't. In fact, it seemed a mere accident that I was a pianist. As if I picked my major out of a hat and I was somehow stuck with it while simultaneously envying the singers, the musicologist, the conductors. So I dabbled in voice and music history until I met a genius who wooed me back to the piano world. But even in a doctoral program in piano I felt uncertain, like that moment in a relationship where you're only staying in it because everything is comfortable and if you leave you'll be left alone searching for a new cause to support. Or in my case to study. So I stayed, paddling my way through a doctoral program beyond my skill. Until my December recital. Then, I practiced. Not out of interest but out of sheer desperation! The very thought of public humiliation on stage evoked unwavering focus so I practiced and practiced and practiced even more. For three weeks I spent 7 hours a day with the piano, alone in a room clearly built to house a piano, a bench, a person and nothing more. I labored, I toiled and I'll admit...I cried. My back ached, my muscles tightened and my head verged on exploding with the hundreds, thousands of notes inside my brain. I found solace in my fellow studiomates whose practicing schedules were less rigorous but no less committed. And then it happened. Following a 2 hour studio class we pianists escaped the school for a dinner break and upon our return to school we ran into a crowd of singers, all of whom were glammed up with their heels, snazzy clothes and impeccably applied make-up. As they noticed us they announced "Here come the pianists". We looked a messy, exhausted bunch in comparison but for the first time I felt a twinge of pride and thought, yeah, I am a pianist. Take your 30-minute practice sessions, I'll keep my 6 hour ones. Take your heels, your lipstick, your expensive clothing and everything that is unlike us, the pianists because when I go to my studio the piano is always there, waiting for me and I'm in love with it! This is who I am. For the first time in my life I realize I AM a pianist. I could have been a singer or a musicologist. Hell, I could have been a lot of things but I'm not. I chose this! And I love it. I'm in love.