On the other side of things

Well. Here we are. Recital done, fear ebbed away and doubts silenced. I must say that deep down I knew I had it in me. It's unfortunate it has taken me so long to realize that. But alas, when all is said and done I am quite pleased. And somehow it only dawned on me yesterday morning that I did it. I, Kezia, misfit musician, failed competitor, definition of inconsistent, creator of doubt, worrier and more gave a fair performance of the Schubert B-flat, in all of it's 47 minute glory. And while I wish I could have remembered my dominant 7 in B-flat and the c-sharp minor chord in mvt. II and nailed that bloody A-flat chord in the scherzi scherzo and the freaking g-flat major chord that got away in the finale, I still did it! And it's such a work of genius that will live with me forever, that I can play again and again and that will get better each time. That is what's so stunning about music! And who knows, maybe one day people will actually pay to hear me play it. Clearly a long ways off but I really think I could be happy with a mildly active performing career, if only at churches and small schools. Plus, I got the ultimate gift, one that cannot ever be surpassed. My little buddy at my church job wrote me the sweetest note that I honestly will remember forever. I'm his treasured friend! So no matter how much people liked my dress or my Schubert or my sound or whatever else was mentioned, that one letter made it all worth it. Thank you Jack. I dread the day we say good-bye. But unlike Jack and I, Schubert and I won't be parting anytime soon. In fact, we'll be seeing more of each other soon and making an appearance in May. Because I finally found it in myself to bug someone enough to schedule as wait for it...a visiting artist. Ha. Who would've thought and how the hell could we have known? Someone always knew. My master. He did! So here's to my masta', Jack and Schubert!!! Cheers boys, te amo!