Who'd have thought.

So I realized today that I will have to say good-bye to someone I really, really don't want to see leave. It's not someone I see a lot or would've expected to miss as much as I already do and so it got me to thinking about all the things I've fallen in love with over time that I did not expect to love. It's funny how feeling work and how foolish we are to think we know what's going to happen with them. I never imagined I'd actually enjoy performing but after this month I think I could. That moment backstage when you're holding your breath, waiting to go out and then in a second you go from being alone, nervous and yourself to stepping into the lights of the stage, applause and finding yourself to be someone else, a performer, someone worthy of the stage. It's kind of nice. Especially if followed by an actual 'real' performance of which one can be proud. I love that those last notes you play that feel so real and so satisfying, like a job well done. And I'm even learning to accept the applause/attention that immediately follows when you have to smile graciously, bow and walk off stage proudly even if inside you're humbled. Then there's getting up at 7:30 or 8 which I've done the majority of this semester. Who knew I'd learn to love it. The time alone in the morning, sipping my coffee at my vanity planning the day while applying some much needed makeup, listening to the hum of NPR on the radio. I miss it, tomorrow should rekindle those feelings. And spicy asian food? Who the crap knew. Now, it's just the beginning and I'm only getting my feet wet to say but still, my mouth was burning at my first hot pot experience and I loved it! And then there's my brown brother who I will sorely miss. I am so freaking proud of him even though I have no right to be. Never have I known such an unbelievable musician at his age and so enviable. *sigh* Brown power people. That's where it is. We're the new asians! Only less uptight. Ha. Well, I'm grateful for all my unexpected loves and I can't wait to see which ones I come across in the next year. Wheeeee!