So I was chatting with my favorite buddy tonight and we decided to come up with a few goals to help ourself get out of our funk. So here it goes, just 3 goals for the next 2 weeks. Surely it can be done.
1) 2 hours of practice everday--I know that sounds pathetic but it's a meager start to the disastrous month of no practice. EVERYday, no matter what.
2) 3 homecooked meals a week--lunch, dinner, etc. doesn't really matter which
3) Read 10 pages a day...from any of the 3 books I'm into right now.
That's it! So simple but somehow without a challenge I won't do them. Wish me luck!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Pssh.
So I'll be the first to admit I am easily annoyed and bothered. I don't mean to be but sometimes it just happens. And I do make every effort to censor my thoughts in a valiant effort to avoid offending people. But I have to get this off my chest! And I love doing it here so people can't really comment because...oh right, no one reads this! Anyway, I am so disgusted with the whole concept of divorce. Now before I truly rant I will preface my verbal puking by admitting that there are times when divorce is the only answer and that I know people who have been divorced whose situations would have likely led me to make the same ugly decision. Now that I got that out of the way can I just say that I'm pretty damn sure the sanctity of marriage was destroyed by divorce long before gay marriage was even an issue. There are so many reasons why it's an awful, awful idea. Firstly, giving yourself the option of divorce only enables you to dive into the second biggest decision/commitment (second to having children) with a multiple of safety nets, the option to back out when the going gets tough.
Now back in the day I know women were not happily married and divorce empowered a 'weaker' gender to escape an unwanted and unwelcomed situation. BUT, in modern day America that is usually not the case. In general I must point out that divorce of a childless couple comes off as less offensive to all involved. Sure, I know you must be thinking but what about abuse? Or a cheating spouse? Here's the blatant truth no one wants to hear: if someone is unfaithful, abusive or even leaning towards either BEFORE you are engaged then buy yourself an effing clue--they will be like that AFTER too. If your fiancee/fiance is a bit loony, frivolous, deceptive, dirty, argumentative, lacking a personality, etc. at any point during your dating life getting married is not going to solve the problem. It only brings a whole set of new ones. The other thing no one wants to admit is that if you would just take a moment and think back to when you decided to marry this person, someone you so loved you were ready to commit your life to them, chances are there was at least one person (most likely several) who warned you not to get married. Maybe you thought they were crazy or jealous or just wrong but if you had just listened.....especially when it's your parents. Because despite the fact you may dislike them or disagree with them or think they are old-fashioned and couldn't possibly understand you they did raise you. Trust me, they know you. And if they're still married then it's pretty damn certain they know a thing or two about marriage. So get over your arrogant self and admit you didn't make the best of choices.
Now that you've given into yourself and decided to get divorced your first priority should be your kids. Dammit! Your kids, not you, not your new girl/boyfriend, not your job, etc. Your kids. Because although you may hate your ex (which is weird b/c you soooo loved them at one time) that ex is still the mother/father of your children. Do you get that? Together you two created this beautiful child who deserves unconditional love from both of you. So give it. Be man or woman enough to step up and initiate an amicable relationship IF only for your children since probably you don't have enough integrity to do it for yourself. Their poor innocent lives are being transformed overnight and there is almost nothing in the world that will destroy a child's love for their parent--don't let it be you. Obviously there are cases where one parent is cannot provide a healthy environment for the family but the case I am fuming about could have worked.....I think. And about that case, I am speaking about my own wishes so take it for what it's worth....but I am pissed. I will never get the experiences I desire or deserve. All because of a stupid divorce. No, not even a stupid divorce, a stupid decision to get married. I always find it curious that people celebrate a marriage the way they do. Frankly, finding someone to marry is a celebration but it is not an accomplishment. Staying married is. Getting pregnant isn't a rarity, I could do it this weekend if I were stupid enough to try. Raising a healthy, happy child--now THAT is something to brag about......
I guess my point is that there are huge disadvantages to being single at my age. I am often the third wheel to couples or end up spending time alone that I would rather spend with someone. I get tired of always cooking for myself and would love for someone to just take me to dinner or make it for me...even a friend! I'll admit that sometimes when I finally reach that place between being awake and falling asleep a little twinge of panic surges through body reminding me that while everyone else is bunking with their other half I am stiiiill looking. But the sweet freedom I have now and the fission of excitement I feel at the very thought of finding the right person one day stimulates enough self-respect in me to avoid a relationship where he cheats or is abusive. And while some say I am picky and need to lower my standards I just figure that as long as my mom found the perfect man I can too. And by waiting longer I reduce the number of years we'll be married and therefore the chance of divorce. Or something like that... :)
Now back in the day I know women were not happily married and divorce empowered a 'weaker' gender to escape an unwanted and unwelcomed situation. BUT, in modern day America that is usually not the case. In general I must point out that divorce of a childless couple comes off as less offensive to all involved. Sure, I know you must be thinking but what about abuse? Or a cheating spouse? Here's the blatant truth no one wants to hear: if someone is unfaithful, abusive or even leaning towards either BEFORE you are engaged then buy yourself an effing clue--they will be like that AFTER too. If your fiancee/fiance is a bit loony, frivolous, deceptive, dirty, argumentative, lacking a personality, etc. at any point during your dating life getting married is not going to solve the problem. It only brings a whole set of new ones. The other thing no one wants to admit is that if you would just take a moment and think back to when you decided to marry this person, someone you so loved you were ready to commit your life to them, chances are there was at least one person (most likely several) who warned you not to get married. Maybe you thought they were crazy or jealous or just wrong but if you had just listened.....especially when it's your parents. Because despite the fact you may dislike them or disagree with them or think they are old-fashioned and couldn't possibly understand you they did raise you. Trust me, they know you. And if they're still married then it's pretty damn certain they know a thing or two about marriage. So get over your arrogant self and admit you didn't make the best of choices.
Now that you've given into yourself and decided to get divorced your first priority should be your kids. Dammit! Your kids, not you, not your new girl/boyfriend, not your job, etc. Your kids. Because although you may hate your ex (which is weird b/c you soooo loved them at one time) that ex is still the mother/father of your children. Do you get that? Together you two created this beautiful child who deserves unconditional love from both of you. So give it. Be man or woman enough to step up and initiate an amicable relationship IF only for your children since probably you don't have enough integrity to do it for yourself. Their poor innocent lives are being transformed overnight and there is almost nothing in the world that will destroy a child's love for their parent--don't let it be you. Obviously there are cases where one parent is cannot provide a healthy environment for the family but the case I am fuming about could have worked.....I think. And about that case, I am speaking about my own wishes so take it for what it's worth....but I am pissed. I will never get the experiences I desire or deserve. All because of a stupid divorce. No, not even a stupid divorce, a stupid decision to get married. I always find it curious that people celebrate a marriage the way they do. Frankly, finding someone to marry is a celebration but it is not an accomplishment. Staying married is. Getting pregnant isn't a rarity, I could do it this weekend if I were stupid enough to try. Raising a healthy, happy child--now THAT is something to brag about......
I guess my point is that there are huge disadvantages to being single at my age. I am often the third wheel to couples or end up spending time alone that I would rather spend with someone. I get tired of always cooking for myself and would love for someone to just take me to dinner or make it for me...even a friend! I'll admit that sometimes when I finally reach that place between being awake and falling asleep a little twinge of panic surges through body reminding me that while everyone else is bunking with their other half I am stiiiill looking. But the sweet freedom I have now and the fission of excitement I feel at the very thought of finding the right person one day stimulates enough self-respect in me to avoid a relationship where he cheats or is abusive. And while some say I am picky and need to lower my standards I just figure that as long as my mom found the perfect man I can too. And by waiting longer I reduce the number of years we'll be married and therefore the chance of divorce. Or something like that... :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)