That kinda makes sahnse.

I've felt all out of sorts lately, nervous, fickle, resisting the urge to follow suit, and an overall sense of imbalance. But I fiiiiinally made a worthwhile connection today that will carry me through the next week, hopefully the next semester and if we're lucky, the next year. Something about big exams, plotting the next step in life, wondering if I should date, etc. has bogged me down and made me lose sight. But this morning on the way commute back from church to Lawrence my driver showed me a 'shortcut' that bypasses the business of Olathe in hopes of saving a few minutes time. The shortcut was nothing spectacular but it was so enlightening because as we emerged from the end of the shortcut to my normal pathway I noticed something. For a split second I felt confused and turned around because the scenery of the end of our shortcut seemed so unfamiliar and I like to think I have good sense of direction so I felt so turned around. But in just a short moment I realized as I turned around to view where we'd come from that it was the same familiar intersection I always turn at, K-7 and the Old 56 Highway, just from a different direction. And I realized that it's just like now: same people, same events, same tasks, same challenges, same rewards but just all over again. And I've always figured or known what to do before so why wouldn't I now? I was just getting nervous about the unknown and yet to come. But it's ok, it's just bend in the road! And lesser musicians and poorer writers have passed this exam. Yes, they studied WAY more than me but that's ok. There's nothing that says I have to pass everything or that if I don't there's something wrong with me. Just like there's nothing wrong with me that's causing me to be single right now. Someone just wisely reminded me that it's not them who don't want to be around me but more often the other way around. I am worried about some things for next year but they can wait to be sorted out until at least the end of the summer. I have a job. I have students. I have fans. That's all I need for now. And this: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, Provers 3:5. God is good. All the time. Now if only he could take my comps for me.......Ha.

Really?

It's curious how someone's habits make us self-conscious about our own.

100th blog

It's a damn good things I have such a large pool of friends from whom to choose since so many seem to back out on me. Sheesh.