:)

$.99 margaritas are where it's at. My Ree Ree is freaking awesome and easily the best designated driver I've ever had. I LOVE teaching piano! That zit is gonna be old news tomorrow. A stellar musical performance awaits me tomorrow night, whee!!!! My parents are the best because they love me AND they love my friends. Jung is not pregnant, contrary to today's story. Ha. I can't stop myself right now, this is not good. I've resolved myself that Mr. Garner is the one who got IN the way as opposed to being the one who got away. I have yet to learn how "to work it". Every jazz version of "Someday my prince will come" somehow makes me actually want to find my prince. I wish I was a singer because that's where the fun is. Public breastfeeding offends me not matter how natural it is (so is pooping and intercourse but I don't whip those out whenever!) I need to turn in, I have a 9 a.m. lesson and neither of us are morning people, ouch. On the other hand, I can almost feel the end!!!!!!! And the beginning of the next chapter as: DR. SCHRAG. Sexy.

Thank you thank you!

For a most lovely day! Of course I can say most of my days are lovely but this one was especially. I had such fun at church today and even found it in myself to leave early and buy myself an early afternoon. This whole week has been good actually....here's a few highlights from it:

~ Good hot tubbing. Always a plus in any week!
~ An unexpected visit from my dad. Almost as good as the other unexpected surprise. ;)
~ I got told I'm the "cool kid" at Murphy. Fiiiiinally. My social status has maxed out.
~ I gave my mom some adult-to-adult advice. Not only did she take it but she called me later to thank me for it. Wow.
~ Easter. Jesus rose and so I live eternally in his arms. Enough said.
~ My skin is especially good this week. It's not bound to last though. Darn.
~ Indulgence all around this week.

Having said that, I need to make my coming weeks Lent, or the practice of self-restraint. Which I know little of....but honestly, this messing around has got to come to an end. No good can come of it. So tomorrow up a bit earlier, on time to class, healthy eating and if there's time some a visit to the gym is in order. It's this eating out that's killing me. It's so damn social and it's not like any of my friends are especially conscious/healthy eaters.....I just get caught up in it and forget I don't have the asian metabolism. But tomorrow is another day! And if it's half as good as this one I'll be happy. And if not there's always the next one. That's what so cool about life! It's never really over and when it is it's just the next chapter...

Zzz

I am sleepy and I am tired but I have enough energy to say that things in my life are so wonderful I can hardly imagine them getting better. Minus that one nagging thought....

Who'd have thought.

So I realized today that I will have to say good-bye to someone I really, really don't want to see leave. It's not someone I see a lot or would've expected to miss as much as I already do and so it got me to thinking about all the things I've fallen in love with over time that I did not expect to love. It's funny how feeling work and how foolish we are to think we know what's going to happen with them. I never imagined I'd actually enjoy performing but after this month I think I could. That moment backstage when you're holding your breath, waiting to go out and then in a second you go from being alone, nervous and yourself to stepping into the lights of the stage, applause and finding yourself to be someone else, a performer, someone worthy of the stage. It's kind of nice. Especially if followed by an actual 'real' performance of which one can be proud. I love that those last notes you play that feel so real and so satisfying, like a job well done. And I'm even learning to accept the applause/attention that immediately follows when you have to smile graciously, bow and walk off stage proudly even if inside you're humbled. Then there's getting up at 7:30 or 8 which I've done the majority of this semester. Who knew I'd learn to love it. The time alone in the morning, sipping my coffee at my vanity planning the day while applying some much needed makeup, listening to the hum of NPR on the radio. I miss it, tomorrow should rekindle those feelings. And spicy asian food? Who the crap knew. Now, it's just the beginning and I'm only getting my feet wet to say but still, my mouth was burning at my first hot pot experience and I loved it! And then there's my brown brother who I will sorely miss. I am so freaking proud of him even though I have no right to be. Never have I known such an unbelievable musician at his age and so enviable. *sigh* Brown power people. That's where it is. We're the new asians! Only less uptight. Ha. Well, I'm grateful for all my unexpected loves and I can't wait to see which ones I come across in the next year. Wheeeee!

On the other side of things

Well. Here we are. Recital done, fear ebbed away and doubts silenced. I must say that deep down I knew I had it in me. It's unfortunate it has taken me so long to realize that. But alas, when all is said and done I am quite pleased. And somehow it only dawned on me yesterday morning that I did it. I, Kezia, misfit musician, failed competitor, definition of inconsistent, creator of doubt, worrier and more gave a fair performance of the Schubert B-flat, in all of it's 47 minute glory. And while I wish I could have remembered my dominant 7 in B-flat and the c-sharp minor chord in mvt. II and nailed that bloody A-flat chord in the scherzi scherzo and the freaking g-flat major chord that got away in the finale, I still did it! And it's such a work of genius that will live with me forever, that I can play again and again and that will get better each time. That is what's so stunning about music! And who knows, maybe one day people will actually pay to hear me play it. Clearly a long ways off but I really think I could be happy with a mildly active performing career, if only at churches and small schools. Plus, I got the ultimate gift, one that cannot ever be surpassed. My little buddy at my church job wrote me the sweetest note that I honestly will remember forever. I'm his treasured friend! So no matter how much people liked my dress or my Schubert or my sound or whatever else was mentioned, that one letter made it all worth it. Thank you Jack. I dread the day we say good-bye. But unlike Jack and I, Schubert and I won't be parting anytime soon. In fact, we'll be seeing more of each other soon and making an appearance in May. Because I finally found it in myself to bug someone enough to schedule as wait for it...a visiting artist. Ha. Who would've thought and how the hell could we have known? Someone always knew. My master. He did! So here's to my masta', Jack and Schubert!!! Cheers boys, te amo!