Now the day is over.

Today I am heartbroken, confused and angry. Gin and tonic alone have helped me get through the day. And yet I found myself feeling forever grateful for all I have in life. Today I went to visit my auntie Polly (who isn't really my aunt). She's 92, has hospice care and won't likely see her 93 birthday. I don't know her terribly well but what I know of her is the true image of a giver with a grateful heart. Her long life of generosity is coming to an end and while I sat by her bedside today, holding her hand, I got the sense that though her life might soon expire, her legacy of giving will not. I have little exposure to a life at the end of its path and there was very little I could understand of her muttering but one word stuck out in great clarity: music. She wanted music. So I sang. I'm not an accomplished singer, I get embarrassed when singing and I can never remember the words but in this moment I was blessed with the ability to sing her one of my favorite hymns: It is well. Never have I tackled something so simple with such difficulty. The tears of a broken heart poured out as I whispered her the words. And it was that moment that helped me to accept the romantic loss I've just been handed. It's not fair, it's not right and I'm still angry. But at the end of a day like this I have life, I have breath, I have the most beautiful baby, I have skillllz, I have more than I deserve. So to the universe, to the many powers that be and to life I say thank you. Because it IS well. Within my soul.