Rain day blues

Today is just one of those quirky, exhausting days on which you accomplish very little. I had a great piano lesson and if I may say so (which I can b/c no one reads this...unless they accidentally google me), I taught a damn good lesson. Damn good. And I just love it so much, it's days like this when I think,yeah, I AM meant to do this. And it brings a satisfaction nothing else could. So why does it have to be coupled with the annoying sensation of helplessness? Gosh. What the F. Lesson learned....well, I don't know. To let go? Perhaps. After all is said and done, apologies made, patience tested, prayers said and all possibilities exhausted I'm still put out. So what now? What now....meh. You can't win 'em all.

Oops.

Well, I clearly abandoned my health blog but mostly for two reasons:
1. I didn't have internet at the time so it was hard to get on here daily.
2. After my recital things fell apart and there was no point admitting that daily I was jacking things up...

Anyway, let's hope this year goes better and the truth is summer is the devil for me as far as eating well and getting exercise. Who wants to eat healthy when you can grill burgers and hot dogs? Or go to the gym when it's a sauna outside and you can lay out at the pool? Whatev. So goes life. Or at least MY life. Last night I was thinking as I was falling asleep to Renee Fleming's Haunted Heart album and started to catalogue what I might choose as my favorite albums ever..tough decision. So in an effort to update my blog (because lord the world is anxiously awaiting my next entry) I've decided to include a list of my current favorites, in no particular order, which will always be subject to change....

1) HAUNTED HEART by Renee Fleming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbSwaWaFx0

I remember 'borrowing' Mr. Garner's copy and becoming so addicted I had to buy my own. There is something magical about Renee's voice in all of her performances but this album in particular strikes my fancy. Part of it is the mellow tone and jazzy/lounge feel of the album and unfortunately part of it is the sentiment I associate with listening to it. It's perfect for an evening drive in any weather, many of which I made with Mr. Garner in the snowy nights of Moscow. Ah, so bittersweet.

2) TRANSISTOR RADIO by Matthew Ward
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bct-85hb7c

I don't usually find myself listening to anything besides classical and jazz but I heard about this album on NPR, go figure. I decided to check it out after the review on NPR and I really, really loved it. So much that I got another album of his: Postwar. In general when it comes to singing I fall for anyone who has a voice that I really like regardless of the lyrics or ensemble. There's something catchy but subdued about his music. I like the ensemble and the playfulness but along the way there's something underlying that makes me sentimental or sad. But in a good way! Much the same way I feel about Mozart? The solo guitar version of Bach's C Major Prelude gets me every damn time. :)

3)BEETHOVEN TRIPLE CONCERTO AND CHORAL FANTASY with Yo-Yo Ma, Daniel Barenboim and Itzhak Perlman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ave3q4rbW30

Now talk about an all-star lineup! So I fell in love with Beethoven's Choral Fantasy when I was about 8 or so, I would listen to it endlessly on my walkman (yes that's right my walkman) and it was a live performance and I nearly died with excitement at the ending followed by thunderous applause. I don't know what recording it was but I eventually found this one of Ma, Barenboim and Perlman, also a live performance. It's a bit theatrical but they can't help it, when you're that famous it comes with the business I think.

4) THE MELODY AT NIGHT WITH YOU by Keith Jarrett
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhKMzN_RcCI

This might be my favorite album EVER. Might be. The tenderness and sensitivity of Jarrett's playing in combination with some of my favorite songs ever is purely blissful if not heartbreaking. Can it be both? Everything from the choice of songs (yes, they're 'songs') to the interpretation to the coverart is just amazing. Only one addition would make it positively my favorite ever: the addition of Over the Rainbow. But it's good he doesn't include it because my little heart couldn't take it following Shenandoah, Someone to watch me, Porgy and Bess, etc. Bravo Jarrett! I should admit that I have overwhelming sentimental feelings with this one too! Crap. Damn love for skewing my favorites...

5)BEETHOVEN CELLO SONATAS with Sviatoslav Ricther and Mstislav Rostropovich
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-nwSJ06wVE

Now I actually own this on LP so the link isn't the CD but either way it's all the same thing. This is an absolutely divine album! It's amazing how what happens when you bring together 2 of the most brillian musicians of our time with one of the greatest composers ever. Plus, I'm sucker for cello, perhaps my favorite instrument. The playing and interpretion by these geniuses is monumental and the added crackle of the LP makes for a truly powerful performance.

I have to go now but the other 5 will be here eventually... :)

Day 5

Well, it's been a good day. I had my mini-orals with Reber (that sounds dirrrty) and they went well. I finished my paper and it's not bad, not necessarily good either though...whatev. Ate all day long somehow and now just sitting! Here's an estimate of what I consumed:

Breakfast:
frittat (egg scramblers, mushrooms, potato, tomatoes, onions and cheese) 4 pts
coffee with milk

Snack:
Coffee with milk

Lunch:
Baked Doritos 3 pts
carrots/broccoli with 2 tbsp ranch 3

Snack:
Orowhat thin and w.w. cream cheese 2

Dinner:
Salad 1
lean cuisine 6

Snack:
Yogurt 1
p.b. 2
w.w. cheese/turkey 2


So over by 1 point (24 total) but not too bad. Especially considering I was soooo hungry. Oh wait, I did have a cinnamon roll. Dammit! It was homemade and worth every point/calorie. Probably 8? Take that out of my weekly allowance. Dammit Kezia. Better luck tomorrow. :)

Day 4

Okay, so after a good day yesterday I'm trying to keep it going. Somehow those sacrifices of yesterday make me feel that I deserve a treat. But we all know I don't. Ha ha. I'm at Blue Chip working on my paper and it smells so delish that I want some food but lord knows it's not exactly healthy. Maybe I'll slip over to Hy-vee and get some saltines and fruit. Or yogurt? Can you do that? Bring food into here? OR oh my gosh, get a smoothie from next door. yeeeeah.

Breakfast:
oatmeal (3)
p.b. (2)
coffee with milk (1)

Snack
saltines (2)
w.w. american cheese (1)
coffee, coffee and more coffee (1)
Snack:
soft pretzel (6?)
Snack:
popcorn (1)
orowheat thin and cream cheese (2)
Lunch?:
Salad (3)

Oh my gosh, too many carbs today. Plus too much time to think about being hungry. It's only 7:15 and I've used 22 of my 23 points. And I haven't eaten dinner nor do I feel full. In fact, I feel hungry. Crap! I think crackers, popcorn and orowheat thins should not all be consumed in the same day. So soup for dinner. On a brighter note, I did buy a pair of patent black kitten heels for $10 last minute for my recital and I've discovered they're my new favorite shoes. Not bad for $10.

End to Day 4:
1/2 a bag of broccoli
2 tbsp hummus
1/2 cucumber
honey bunches of oats (sans milk) 2 cups?

So I kind of killed it with the cereal but Nathan brought it and it's like my crack. Still, that kind of snacking is better than what I ate a year ago: pizza, chips, candy. It feels good. Oh and my paper is done so I'm going to read myself to sleep. Good day, overall a damn good day.

Day 3

Well, I went to my W.W. meeting today and was up 2 lbs. Now, that's obviously noooo good and now I know the damage of vodka gimlets, jimmy john's, burgers and candy in such excess as I consumed them. Having said that, I am more motivated now to lose the total 2.8 I gained in the last 3 weeks than if I had weighed in at or below last week's weight so there's the silver lining. I had a strong start to my eating today, check it out:

breakfast:
1/2 frtta (3 pts)
orowheat thin (1)
w.w. cream cheese (1)
sugar-free, + fiber jam (0)
coffee with milk (1)

And I've already downed 45 ounces of water....ooh, plus I worked out for 55 minutes ans surely managed to sweat out all the vodka from last night. So it's doubly good for me! Now, here's to hoping the rest of the day goes well....brb.

Okay, part 2 of the Day 3:

Lunch:
smoothie (4pts) -- this is a guesstimate, I think it was more like 3...but better overestimate than under. and I LOVE smoothies!!!!

Dinner:
1/2 cup rice (wild/white/brown mix) (4)
1/3 lean ground beef (3)
1/4 black beans (1)
1 slice w.w. american cheese (1)

Snack:
raspberry mint tea (0!)

So not bad overall. But I'm quite hungry and it's only 9:15 and I need to write so let's hope this tea carries me over. As for my mental health I've done very little today but some good things happened. Like I found a paper worth recycling, my boss approved my San Diego trip and my auntie's helping me out. Stay tuned for tomorrow!

p.s. I used 19 of my 23 points but now I'm getting McDonald' ice cream (3) so....yeah, well done! Which is a good treat for a job well done on my Schubert. Heheh.

Day 2

Well, today is off to a better start than yesterday. I hope to hit the gym and I have NO excuse not to except that I don't reeeeeally want to go. I've decided to get rid of a LOT of my clothes. Luckily, many of them just don't fit well anymore and I think that by keeping them around I'm giving myself the option of gaining weight. That's NOT good. So I'm going to work on that in a few....write more later. I just know you're dying to hear more!

Breakfast:
fritta (egg scramblers, tomatoes, potato, mushrooms, onions, lunch meat)
coffee with skim milk

(not bad kezia, not bad at all)

Okay, so here's the follow up of yesterday:

Lunch:
rice, beans, ground beef and cheese
1/2 yogurt
vodka and crystal light

vodka gimlet (2) and vodka cranberry (double)
Can you sense a theme here? So all that vodka caught up with me and after seeing Finn Riggins (which was awesome!) I downed a Jimmy John's Slim 5 (which is anything but slim b/c it packs salami, provolone and some other fatty meat) and salt & vinegar chips (which frankly should be illegal in bags that market themselves as 1 serving but are actually 2!!!!!!!!!!!!). Don't worry, I'm not really thinking it should be illegal but the truth is that even thin or fit people (which are not necessarily the same!) don't need that kind of food. The Midwest should do what they do in Seattle which is blatanly post the calories/fat/nutrition info. at the menu. Because no matter what your metabolism does for your body your inner organs do not need saturated fat, massive quantities of sodium, processed food, etc. Let's get healthy people! Especially since I just found out K.C., Mo is the 6th fattest city in the country!!!!

Day 1

Okay so I've decided to do a wellness blog....my goal is to write even the tiniest bit everyday as recap of the daily improvement of my physical and mental well-being. Mostly I want to journal my eating habits because after losing 30lbs I'm in a bit a rut or easily distracted by pizza, beer and other things. So here it goes!

Today I ate horribly from the very start.
Breakfast: coffee with milk and pb&j tortilla wrap (not bad)

Church time snack: 5 cookies....shiiit son. And not teeny tiny ones but saucer-sized ones made from scratch with loads of butter, sugar and coconut. Heavens.

Lunch: I'm not sure I actually had this?

Snack: rice with black beans and low-fat cheddar cheese (probably passes as lunch?)
something else not so healthy but I can't remember what.

Dinner: 2-egg scramble with turkey, tomatoes, low-fat cheese, mushrooms and onions
double-fiber whole wheat english muffin with REAL butter
(oops, i'll just poo it out though with all that fiber)

So no fresh fruits or really any fresh veggies, lean protein was ok, too much fat and not enough filling foods. Damn. I blame church and those cookies. God provided them. On a happier note, I took the day for myself to regroup. I cleaned thoroughly (minus my roommate's tower of crusty, week-old dishes), did laundry and spent a good hour or so at Hastings reading gossip magazines. That is perhaps my favorite indulgent waste of time! I love going alone and sitting anonymously gorging on the tabloids and all the useful information they have to offer. So tomorrow's got to start stronger...I see it ending weakish because we're supposed to go downtown and drink but like most things I think will happen it probably won't. And that might save me some calories! Okay, eat well, be well, and make wise choices. Ta-ta!